Ugh, I hate this time of the month. When I become one crazy hormonal disaster. I think for some reason though recently my hormones have me in a continual not just a section of the month but a whole damn month hormonal craziness! What the hell! One minute I’m happy-go-lucky glad I’m me because I have a ton of things positive in my life. The next I think I’m this stupid girl whom will never figure it out and find myself to be a mess.
Are you a man reading this? I told you not too! Of course any women that I have dated or might date might not want to either. Why? I’m about to enter the subject of love and how stupid and messed up it makes one. I think the current book I’m reading might be making things worse for my views on love and relationships. What am I reading? Well it’s called Venus In Spurs, The Secret Female Fear of Commitment. Yep, I think this book is talking about me. Well I guess if me were a “straight, cigarette smoking, uptown kinda girl”. Which, thank God, I’m not! Phew, I feel better already. See, damn hormones! Anyway, back to what I was talking about. I think in the last couple of years my dating has shown that I have some deep down fear of commitment. I only find myself attracted to guys or girls that don’t want a relationship and if they do want one well than guess what? I run!!! Too bad my plantar facitis flairs up and then I stop to lick my wounds. Otherwise I might really enjoy my flight response to the world.
So here I am kind of feeling sorry for myself because I can’t figure out love and relationships. Then my next thought is, what is wrong with me? I will find love and a relationship eventually. I had it once and it will happen again. I’m only 36 and hey the rest of my life is well pretty awesome. I have a wonderful support group of friends, I live in an awesome town, I have some half-assed talents and well I think I’m sort of cute. So eventually with all my quirks and hormonalness someone will fall in love and want to stick around.
So anyway, what was I bitching about? Oh yeah, love and my hormones and well that I’m frickin’ normal! Well, at least somewhat normal. I guess really I have no reason to bitch expect that damnit, it’s that time of the month and I just want to! Don’t mess with this girl when she is pmsing! Consider this your warning if you are hanging around me in the next few days.
See this is why I blog, I feel better now. I can go face my coworkers now. 🙂